Life can take an unexpected turn sometimes. It is hard to understand why these things happen. On October 5th, 2018, that is when my whole world turned upside down. I was on my way home for the long weekend. I pulled into the road, a car came around the corner, and the next thing I knew my car made a hundred-eighty turn and half my car is all over the road. People were coming to me asking if I was alright, I could hear a person on the phone with the police and a nurse who saw what happened came to my car asking if I was injured. The only thought that came to my head was one, my car is totaled and two, my neck hurts. The nurse told me an ambulance is coming and to sit still. I just wanted to call my parents right away and for them to meet me at the hospital. As I was waiting for the ambulance, something was trickling across my face. I looked in the minor and I saw a few cuts around my left eye and blood started to come out. I noticed part of my eyebrow was missing and said to myself at least now my right eyebrow can match.
I arrived at the hospital an hour after the accident and got checked out by a few doctors. They told me that I would not feel anything now, but I should expect to feel pain within the next few days. Sure enough, they were right about that part. The pain started to come from my neck, my head started to hurt more, and went back to the hospital. After a couple of x-rays and other exams, the doctors said that I have a whiplash injury and my neck along with my back have a lot of muscles spasms. As for my head, they said that since my neck is tight, I will feel headaches and might not have a concussion. They told me to take another day of rest from school as well which made sense. I made an appointment with my physical therapist the next day and was able to work out the muscles on my neck and back along with giving me some exercise to do at school. When I was driving to and from physical therapy, my head started feeling worse and began feeling symptoms of a concussion. Given my history of concussion, I knew I had one. Sadly, I did not have time to go visit to the doctors to confirm.
My parents drove me back to school because I thought it would be easier to get things settled and decide if I was feeling better to go to classes. The next day as I was on my way to school, my head was feeling great at all and just went straight to the doctors. I could feel the pounding in my head, my balance being off as I was walking, and getting the nausea feeling in my stomach. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I had many thoughts in my head like I have to miss a lot of my classes, not being able to exercise, rescheduling interviews for summer internships, the amount of work I would have to make up, and other thoughts that would stress me out. All of a sudden, a One Republic song came one, and it was one of my friend Michelle favorite song, (Michelle was one of my friends that past away from cancer almost four years ago). As I was listening to the song, I knew that she was here with me giving me a sign that everything was going to be alright. The nurse called my name, and as I went into the room, the doctor was doing a concussion test, and after a few minutes, they confirmed that I have a concussion. A concussion was something that you cannot take lightly. The next two weeks, I was not able to go to class, do almost no schoolwork, and no looking at screens either. Majoring in computer science and math, the whole not allowed to look at a screen was a hard part. I had to email all of my professors what happened, asking them extensions on assignments, and postponing all of my exams for another two weeks. Not to mention the whole not being able to do any physical activity either.
I had to let all my friends know what happened to me since I will not be in class for two weeks. I was not able to work on a couple of class projects with a few of them which they understood. They told me not to worry about anything and they would let me know everything when I am fully recovered even if I was going to be out for a while. Majority of my professor were understanding and gave me extensions and excused me from classes. The unfortunate part was that some of my professors did not respond. I ended up going to those classes because I feared getting penalized for not being present. Of course, I was not able to focus or pay much attention since my head was pounding the majority of the time. The worst part about my accident was that I was not allowed to swim for a while. I has to tell the team what happened given the fact that I had a few bandages all over my eye. I told everyone about the accident and showed few people saw the picture of my car. I mention that I was going to be out for a while which they understood as well and wanted me to get better as soon as I can. The next few weeks we're going to be a long battle.
The first two weeks of my concussion I just slept a majority of the day. Although it felt good to be in bed and do absolutely nothing, it was driving me crazy. I kept saying to myself how I would be in this class with these people right now or at the library doing homework. Then I remember back in high school how I would color when I was stress or just needed a break. Sadly, I did not have any of my coloring books or most of my stuff, but I had a few color pencils lying around and printed out coloring sheets (yes, I used my computer even though I did not so post to) and started coloring again. I messaged my friend Erica from high school who dealt with pretty bad concussions. She gave me some great advice and things that she had done when battling her concussions. The one thing she had mention was trying to be around people because you can feel lonely and sad a lot. She was right about that for sure. I was alone in my room and not having much contact with anyone which put me in a depressing mood. Luckily later in the day, the symptoms were not as painful in the morning. Since swim practice was later in the day, I would go and sit by either the lifeguard or whoever was coaching that day talking or color of course. Even though I was not able to physically swim, it felt nice surrounding myself with people. After most days, my friends would meet up somewhere to do homework which I would meet them. As they were doing their homework, most of the time I was coloring. That was my new routine for the next two weeks, rest/sleep during the day, go swimming practice, then meet my friends at night. There were times that I would try to do some homework. I limited myself to a few problems a day for each subject for a certain amount of time. There were times that when trying to do to homework, my vision would not be so great. My major involved coding and dealing with numbers which did not help. I would ask my friends if I was seeing everything correctly while working. It got terrible that my friend Henry shut my laptop and told me to stop. Although I was slightly annoyed, he was right. I had to let my body rest and not to push myself which was the tuff part. I wanted to get back into my normal routine again, but I knew that recovery takes time.
After the two weeks have passed, I went back to the doctors and performed the concussion test. The good thing is that I was improving, but I still had symptoms and could not pass some of the tests. The positive side is that I was able to start going back to class but only doing half days. I still had to get my assignments extended for another couple of weeks, but I was able to do a little more work each day. I was still not able to swim or do any physical activity which the hard part was always. Now my routine changed a bit to classes in the morning, then resting during the day, and practice later on. Sometimes it would be resting in the morning, classes in the afternoon, and practice since so I can go to the classes I missed those days. Although I was not fully recovered, I looked at the positive side saying that I am getting better, it just takes time.
It was almost the end of October, and I am still recovering from my concussion. I went back to a different doctor who specialized in concussions. Their test was more work for my brain which was not bad because I want them to do everything and double check that I do not have a concussion or in risk for getting another concussion. The doctor said that I am doing better, but since I still have symptoms, I have to take it slow. The best news they said was that I was allowed to exercise again but was not allowed to make myself feel tired. I have to follow specific steps to exercise and swim again fully. The fact that I was a swimmer, I needed to do extra steps for me to get back in the water. That week I started exercising again but only every other day. One day I did hot yoga which turned out to be fun but being in a warm room for an hour was not a great feeling for my head. Another day I did a ten-minute job which felt good, and still was able to go to class and kind of focus. As it came closer to the end of the week, I decided that I should try swimming and see how I would feel. I was excited to swim again but was feeling a bit nervous. Being swimming verse running is a different feeling. That morning I was rushing a bit and just packed random swim gear in my bag and left. When I got to practice and started getting ready when I picked up my swim cap it happened to be one of Michelle's swim cap from her open water swim from the summer. Although I was completely random that I happened to pack Michelle's swim cap, I took it as a sign that she was telling me that everything was going to be alright. She was right even though I started feeling symptoms for being in the water for about twenty minutes. It still felt good to be able to swim again.
As November came around and it had been almost a month since being diagnosed with a concussion. The doctors told me that I had made more improvement since the last few weeks. However, I still had to take everything slowly. I started going back to classes full time now, manage to catch up the majority of my work, and I was still able to do some physically active. I was still only allowed to swim for about thirty minutes each day, but it was better than not swimming at all. The sad part was that I missed all swim meets that semester. I was able to see my friends more now and not have a fear of missing.
As Thanksgiving week came, it has been about a month and a half since my concussion. As of right now, I am still not one hundred percent better, but I am still getting better each day. I have learned a few life lessons since my concussion. The one lesson was that self-care is essential. Before my accident I was doing so many things at once, I would consistently be doing either homework, going to class, or be somewhere for one of my clubs. I thought taking a break for even five minutes would put me behind which was not true. Although I had to make up a decent amount of work, doing a little each day I was able to finish my assignments within the extended deadline. Taking the time to do something that is not school work whether I am coloring or lying down doing nothing, my homework is not going anywhere. I had to do interviews for summer internships as well and rescheduled a few. I was slightly surprised that recruiters were very understanding with my situation. I ended up getting an offer for the summer and will be moving to California in May. Another lesson I learned is to be thankful for the people who are in your life. I am grateful for my friend Jenny. She was one of the first people I called when I got into my accident, and I wanted someone from my hometown to be with me because my parents were not as close. She dropped everything she had that day and drove all the way up to meet me at the hospital. Not to mention to calm my mother down about the whole accident. I am thankful for my friend Erica for giving me advice when battling my concussion and being there when I needed someone. Erica is that person when you talk to her, at the end of a conversation, you are left with a smile on your face. I have to thank my friends from school Pauly, Henry, and Janja for helping me with my school assignment. A special thank you to my friend Jordan for not just helping me with homework but also driving me around since the accident. I have to thank my swim team for boosting up my spirits. Concussion recover gets lonely sometimes, but fortunate to surround myself with a bunch of amazing people. The final thank you goes to my family for being my support system throughout this battle. I have no idea what my life will be like if I did not have them in my life. The most important lesson I learned was from my friends Michelle was never to give up. The first two weeks of being stuck in my room, not doing anything, and not being around people all the time was depressing for me. I understood how Michelle felt when she was in the hospital for days and not able to be around her friends or at school. Even if days were rough, she always kept fighting with a smile on her face. Michelle is always on my mind and it is hard to believe that it will be almost four years since she passed. The months of September through January are usually the hardest. Most of the memories with Michelle happened during that time. Couple of weeks ago I came across a picture of the two of us at our field hockey four years ago. She had started radiation treatments and was going through so a difficult time. She always ended up being at our field hockey games no matter what. I will always miss you Michelle and live life to the fullest. I know you are in a much better place either playing field hockey, swimming, or eating pizza. I remember your saying Smile because life was too short to be anything but happy.